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Simply… Dad

October 15, 2010
I’ve mulled over how to write this blog post for the past couple of months. I wanted to try to not get to deep when it came to blogging but being that I share parts of my life here why not share one of the most important parts of my life with everyone.  So here I am writing about my father who is dying.  

Mom and Dad 1993

I know people do not have expiration dates but the reality is that my father is 78 years old. He has Lung Fibrosis and emphysema (yes he was a smoker for most of his life). About 8 months ago we were told that his lung disease had progressed to the point where there is nothing that can be done.  So now it’s a matter of comfort for him and making sure that the time he has left is enjoyable.  

As I watch my father’s health deteriorate it amazes me how much resolve he has.   You see my father has always been a very independent guy.  Frankly he has a bit of a Napoleon Complex if you ask me. But tiny in stature at only 5 feet tall  he surely measured up in everything he did and while growing up I can honestly say I never saw my father laid up with a cold, flu or anything else.  He was and always has been an action man “do till you die”.

Growing up my father was Superman, Spiderman, Batman and the Joker all rolled into one.  He made sure we had what was needed working 2 jobs well into his 60’s and then continuing to work a part-time up until about a year ago.  When your car broke down dad came to the rescue, when you needed something painted you called superdad and when you were hurt he’d somehow manage to awkwardly sooth your pain when mom wasn’t around to help.  And I will confess right here that I was daddy’s little girl and ironically still am. 

Dad circa 1940's

These past few months has shown me how life often throws us roll reversals.  My father use to take  me around with him every Saturday to do grocery mainly because it gave my mom a break and it was in truth the only time I actually spent with him because he was always working to make ends meet. Now I’m the one that takes him to the grocery store it has in a way been a full circle in our relationship.

Many of you have seen the cartoon that I post on here called “Saturdays Mornings with Dad” ironically these cartoon are pretty close to the truth and as I watched the reversal of roles I started to doodle little images on my Ipad.  In the beginning of our trips to the market my dad had a really hard time. He felt his freedom and independence had been taken, he felt as if he was a burden and of course his pride was hurt. However, as the weeks have slipped by his mood has changed.  The first day I took him shopping he was extremely upset, angry almost and frustrated, awkwardly carrying around his oxygen he stomped down isle by isle of items tossing things into the carts without barely a word. 

Now he’s up and waiting for me to get him ready to head out and he engages me in conversations about the local senior citizen gossip of the day. What I never realized was how many people my father manages to make an impact on.  While we stroll down the isles of the grocery store I watch as not only employees but random people stop to say hello and ask how he is doing, sometimes I get a glance over by someone who says whose that your’ nurse?  to which my dad replies “no it’s my little girl”.

Of course with time he’s becoming accustom to his new extension of the oxygen, he’s letting go of having to do and now instead of lugging stuff around the house trying to help he spends his time playing guitar, working on his art work, analysing my art work or driving my mom crazy.

He’s slowly becoming use to having to let go of what he felt was his duty and let someone else take the reins and as difficult as these months have been for him, his resolve, and courage amaze me and watching him learn acceptance has been another important lesson that this man has taught me.

Dad 2010

In the end of it all as I come full circle with my father he has and always will be my super hero.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Yolie permalink
    October 15, 2010 5:59 pm

    You have bought tears to my eyes. As long as we remenber the goods times all else really doesn’t matter right ? We have been blessed with strong fathers and even stronger mothers, but as you said everything and everybody comes to a full circle in life. Love You !!!

  2. Liz permalink
    October 15, 2010 7:58 pm

    Wow this was extremely powerful. Life is funny like that our parents who took care of us now need taking care of. So our superdad or supermom are still that to us but we become the superkids who return all the caring we have ever received. Make memories today and cherish them for always.

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